“My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Over the past couple of years, I have wrestled with this verse. Allowing myself to be vulnerable with God and to surrender my own weakness to him, isn’t something that comes naturally to me. By design, I am a perfectionist. I am overly critical of every move I make; I have come to learn that this is a flaw in my faith. God doesn’t overly critique me and anything he constructively criticizes about my life he executes with admirable grace and gentleness. During the past few months here at the Pines I have found excellent solace in the above verse from second Corinthians because it is a gift in itself that reminds me, I don’t have to show up to God with a mask I can present myself humbly and humanly as I am.

Showing humility in front of God can feel like an utter and massive vexation but it is one hundred percent worth it in the end. I had to forfeit my prideful heart in order to be on the path that I am now, which has led me to North Park University. I will start my bright venture back to school this upcoming January after a prolonged battle with God, spent informing him that I wasn’t capable or ready for it. Leaving the Pines, moving to Chicago, and restarting college full-time felt like more than I could tackle. It felt like too much because it was, at least alone, so I showed God that, I surrendered the thoughts that told me that my ambition was too frivolous, and God graciously helped my goals to become a reality. I’m not sure I could have achieved these plans if I hadn’t let God and his elite form of grace hold my hand as I filled out my application for college. His grace outweighs the weight of the faults I have. Mustering up the bravery to lean on God’s strength instead of your own is like holding onto a rail on a train because without it you’ll fall down. It may be uncomfortable at first because you can’t keep your balance by yourself, but over time you’ll notice that similar to a railing, God is a steady force you can cling to catch your bearings. Though it may appear as a nuisance of a task to expose your weaknesses to God it certainly is an invaluable asset overall.

If God’s grace is abundant and kind enough for me, I want to extend that hope to you, whoever is reading these words. It is okay to be weak my friends because there is a rock out there that longs for you to accept it as your foundation. God is the highest of beings, but without hesitation, he will agree to be your compass, as long as you ask him to. There is not a moment where God expects perfection to be the product of your life and he rejoices when you choose him to fight for you. There is no such thing as being alone when God is your trusty guide, directing you carefully to the next grand adventure in your life. May you be blessed with the knowledge that surrendering your mask of life without blemishes won’t make you less than anyone else. Letting God be your strength is an extraordinary sign of bravery.

Love to you all,

Kim Rounseville